The Gallery: Ugly is as ugly feels…

This photo isn’t ugly. I hope.

I wanted to pick a photo which would represent my worst, most ugly, quality. Jealousy.

I host a terribly voracious green-eyed monster inside me. It rears itself in otherwise perfect situations. This happened to be one of them, but I could have chosen many. An anniversary party for some old friends. At a beautiful stately home. With a silver service dinner, and canapés, no less. An friends from university. And their friends…

City lawyers, mainly. Earning 6 figure salaries, driving 4x4s, living in trendy areas of London. With small children benefitting from all the advantages money can buy.

This is the side that I should not see, but do see. And wonder why I don’t have what they have.

And the answer is always that I could have it. I choose not to though.

I choose to have time to spend with my husband and my beautiful daughter.

I choose to have less stress in my life from work.

I choose to live close to my family, and within a reasonable commute to work.

The green-eyed monster is ugly. I try to keep him under control, under wraps. But he pokes his head out from time to time.

This was a post in response to Tara’s brilliant Gallery, with this week’s prompt of “ugly”.  Please click over here to see the other entries from around the Internets.

16 responses to “The Gallery: Ugly is as ugly feels…

  1. well for what it’s worth I think you made the right choice. The gift of time is far more precious, especially to children, than anything money can buy

  2. I hate your friends to !
    What can’t have the time and the money ?
    Just kidding here !
    I understant what you feel, and all I can say right now, is you must be a beautiful personn, being able to look at yourself and say out loud your worst side (sorry for the english here, I’m doing my best but…)

  3. I wonder how many of those people would swap lives with you in a heartbeat? The grass is always greener etc. Cherish your choice and think they are the ones who should be jealous -easier said than done maybe?

    • Definitely. On reflection, I think the correct word is envy – which wikipedia says “occurs when a person lacks another’s (perceived) superior quality, achievement, or possession and either desires it or wishes that the other lacked it.” I’ve always got those confused. But yes, I really do appreciate what I have. I just have to sometimes remind myself of it.

  4. Thing is..we could be sisters. I know exactly how you feel! A day doesn’t go by that I don’t feel that familiar twinge of jealousy for friends who have made big fat financial successes of their lives..and I’ve done..

    what exactly?

    It’s not as if I haven’t had the opportunities – an early degree (at 19), jobs at PWC, Microsoft, consulting with Apple and others..

    So why am I struggling financially, starting again on the other side of the world, in my second marriage at almost 42 yrs?

    I took the road less travelled by? Perhaps. Is it better? Maybe. But sometimes their road looks so much greener, doesn’t it!

    • But, whatever, it’s your road. Keep that monster in the box!!

      I even felt it yesterday, meeting other bloggers who seemed to have much more exciting and varied lives than mine (and I would include you in that, even though I haven’t met you yet!)… How can I measure up? What do I have to say?

      But I know there’s lots I have to give. So the green eyed monster, cute as he is, is kept in isolation and not brought out in company.

      Thank you so much for your comment.

  5. Hi! I just found your blog via twitter. I am on wordpress too using the same theme. I didn’t know what to do with the Ugly theme so in the end didn’t take part. But I really like how you’ve used it. It is so true – we always want what we don’t have. I too have taken the road of motherhood over big flashy career and it is hard. I have friends who are really successful and I envy them their “other lives”. But then I also know the stress they are under, the amount of time they spend away from their kids and I know everything comes at a price. It’s hard sometimes though. Good post! Glad I found your blog.

    • Hello! And welcome to Bumbling Along. I’ve just been over to yours and now want to do some baking… Love baking!!

      I’ve taken the compromise route. I do a bit of work, a bit of mummying, and a bit of blogging 😉 It’s so hard to know what to do for the best. And whatever you choose there will be some element of someone else’s life that you covet… (or rather, that I covet 😉 ). It’s the toddler in me, that wants what the other person’s got.

      Thanks for visiting and for your comment. Off to drool over your caramel cookies!

  6. I totally understand. My life has changed dramatically since having K. Like, 2oK++ ways, to be almost exact. I couldn’t join friends for lunch today, because it wasn’t in the budget – and it was only about a £15 or so lunch too. But you know what…. I get to see her every day. I get to have my husband around every day (he freelances) and this is the life I choose. I do sometimes miss the ‘other’ too, but not enough to actually go back to that life. Not yet, anyway.

  7. You do know that those City lawyers will barely see their children ? That they’ll spend the time they’re with them half focused on their blackberry ?

    Your life is far richer than theirs, trust me

  8. We can never have it all can we? But FWIW we both know that you have the best deal really…. I get this every time I visit someone else’s lovely home- they are always so clean, tidy, decorated, organised and, well, perfect and mine is a shambles. But, on the flip side, I work from home so get to see my kids all the time. My husband works 20 mins down the road so has breakfast with them every day and is home before 6 nearly every day….I’d say that’s worth giving up a photoshoot in Country Life! Px

  9. I know what you mean here. It can be tough to hang on to your ideals when surrounded by all those luxuries. But your daughter will appreciate having you around more (knowing spending time with her was a priority to you) and will probably be better off without all the clutter to get in the way.

  10. This is such a great post and a way to represent ugly! I struggled with what I found to be ugly as I really do try my best to find beauty in everything so I cheated and didn’t take part last week!!

  11. Money isn’t everything, but it bloody helps! Look at how rich your life is in other ways.

    Behind the scenes of that beautiful house who knows what is really going on? I’m sure that their lives aren’t all than it is cracked up to be.

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